Oh yeah, my blog moved.

My blog has moved! Gay Best Friend is now home to all your sexy Iranian gay boy needs.

Oh yeah, I have a blog.

I hope you all forgive me- I actually forgot that I had this, haha!
The reason is that I have joined the horrible world that is called 9-to-5, only mine is actually 8:30 to 5:30, and I probably get more benefits than you.

To make a long story short, I've gotten so busy that I completely forgot that I even had the blog, and then I got a new computer and the little blogger bookmark was no longer there to remind me, and voila, no blogging.

Finally, though, I've started to be able to manage my time and deal with the new craziness in my life, so posts should start picking up again- though I'll probably be posting on a schedule, like every sunday or something like that. Sorry for the absence!

Finally

Cousin-in-law: So, you have girlfriend yet?
Me: No.
Cousin-in-law: Always no! No, No, No! Kai, soon I ask you have boyfriend yet?!?"

Congratulations! After a record time of 22 short years, you are the first person ever to question why I never bring by any girlfriends!

Insulting things that happened to me today:

1. The used clothing store refused three articles of clothing out of the ten pieces I brought in to sell.
2. The bum on the corner of the street where the used clothing store is refused the three articles of clothing that I offered to him for free.

Area Codes where I have Hoes

206
949
619
626
530
413
818
714
919
310
925
586
202
858
951 (I'm not proud!)
650
304
917
415
401

An open letter

Dear ten pounds I've gained as a result of eating nonstop for the last three weeks,

I had a feeling you'd be coming around. It started when I went home for the weekend and my mom said "look at you, you finally look like you're eating enough!" Now, though, my cheeks have passed the point of existing and slightly resemble those of a korean infant. I need you to leave.

It's not so much that I care about the extra weight- you can't tell the difference under my clothes and it's definitely not like I'm getting any, so nobody's seeing the rolls. It's that when I'm walking up any hill- the zoo today, let's say, or on the way to class- my calves are noticing a sudden increase in burden that makes them cramp up slightly.

I'm also concerned with my defined abs. Where did you put them? I didn't just buy those at the store, you know. It took years of core conditioning and yoga for those to join the party. The strangest thing is, my ass is looking as fine as ever. Maybe it's because they're getting so much extra conditioning from lugging you around all day.

Furthermore, I don't appreciate how you've hijacked my digestive system. I admit I've overeaten a bit recently, but now my stomach is so stretched out that I'm constantly hungry. How the hell is this going to stop? You think I'm going to diet? It's not happening. I've never dieted before and I'm not going to start. If you want me to exercise, you be careful buster, you might get just that, and I promise you'll hate it more than I do.

Yours truly,
Kai Azad

ADDENDUM

Dear Defined Abs:
Please come home.

new flip flops

new flip flops
Originally uploaded by kaiazad.

I bought a new pair of flip-flops at the mall yesterday.

They neither flip, nor flop.
They are stealth flops.

This will be a great relief to my father, who hates the sound my shoes make, but for me, it's a nightmare. The gentle flip-flop-flip-flopping of my shoes day in and out is sort of hypnotic, and when I was walking to the Mexican place last night for my midnight snack, I felt more like a terrorist ninja than a stylish surf dude.

The best part, though, is that these shoes are 100% animal-free, and unlike my two-year old leather flip-flops, they don't stink up to high heaven, either.

Fruit from the Bazaar and other goodies

Dried البالو (albaloo)
Originally uploaded by kaiazad.

I thought, maybe if you guys didn't really believe I was Iranian or something, I could offer you some hard evidence, like this here fruit. I don't even know what البالو translates as in English, any help?

Dried Kiwi
Originally uploaded by kaiazad.

And if that's not weird enough for you, here's something I've never seen in the USA before: dried kiwi. Trader Joe's had better catch on quick, because Tavazo Corp. in Iran is on the cutting edge of fruit engineering.

Embroideries
Originally uploaded by kaiazad.

In other news, I went to the San Diego version of the bazaar to purchase a belated mother's day present. My mom really enjoyed Marjane Satrapi's Persepolis, so I thought I'd get her this new book by the same author, only to find that it was a little bit different than the coming-of-age-in-Iran story we had all enjoyed a few years ago.

Iranian Woman Kicks Ass

Check out this New York Times article about a woman in Iran who is busy feeding the men her dust on the racetrack. She gets bonus points for being sexy, too.